How small I am….,

Somewhere in our lives something happens that makes us feel like who we are, how we are, or why we are who we are. Earlier I used to feel that I can do everything, everything is under my control. But as our life progresses, we start to feel our limitations. Well, many times we cannot do anything even if we want to, and the experience we feel after that is called helplessness. When did I feel this? It was a matter of those days when it was very cold, I used to go for a walk with my mother every day after dinner. We were just coming for a walk as usual when suddenly a small puppy came at my feet. As if he was telling me to take me with him, I did not understand how suddenly he came in the middle of the road, it was dark there, so I could not see what was his condition after all. Even before this I had found a bird, which I had brought to my house and after a few days it was gone, with God I thought maybe I would be able to help it. I picked her up I was feeling something wet in my hands, I didn’t pay attention to that and I was taking her home. I was happy thinking that I would take care of her and cure her. Where I was being brought from there, I could see a place on the way, it seemed that someone has kept it there and the people around there take care of it. When I was bringing her home and I was telling her that you will be fine I will take care of you you will be fine soon. As soon as I turned on the light of her house, I saw that her condition was very bad, both her back legs were crushed by a truck, insects were roaming all over her body. My parents refused to let me keep him at home saying we would not be able to take care of him. We won’t be able to handle it, you go to your office, won’t be able to take care of it. His condition was not at all manageable. I didn’t want to leave her back. From where I had brought him. I was apologizing to him in my heart, that please forgive me, I cannot do anything for you. That day I realized how small I am. How helpless I am to not leave you back from me knowing that she needs help. He was very young, very young. While picking her up, my sweater got filled with blood and I left her there and came. I was crying a lot because I never felt so small and helpless, and on the same day I also realized how big God is. Who takes care of this whole creation and the whole world, we do not know who is suffering or needs any help in that corner of this world. But they know everything and definitely come to help in one way or the other. That’s why he is called God, because he is not helpless towards us. Then the next day when I went for a walk again, he did not show me. I don’t know where he went, what happened to him. I still think about him. It’s been 3 years since then, but her face still flashes in front of my eyes, and makes me feel small. That day I probably asked for this and made a promise to myself that I would not be anything else. But I will never be so helpless in life that I cannot help anyone even if I want to…..✍️